"Do you see everything as an illusion but enjoy it even though you are not of it?" -- Alanis Morissette, "21 Things I Want in a Lover"
"All religion flows from spirituality, all spirituality flows from meditation, and all meditation, at its core, is a calm focus on breathing. Therefore, all religion is a calm focus on breathing; everything else is dogma." -- buckyogi
"You didn't chop up a pregnant woman and smear her guts all over the walls, but this man did, and Jesus saved him! Think what he can do for you!" -- Pat Robertson (speaking about Tex Watson)
"Wanted: small dog for little girl in mobile home park." -- Classified ad, East Riverside County Green Sheet
"For me to poop on." -- Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog
"There can be no doubt that, so far as most people are concerned, when alcohol meets the brain the event is received as good news." -- Griffith Edwards, Alcohol: The World's Favorite Drug
"Hi, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic." -- Bill W., founder of Alcoholics Anonymous
"When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." -- Abraham Maslow (paraphrased)
"When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a snail." -- buckyogi
"They have the Internet on computers now!" -- Homer Simpson
"You can't post that on the Internet! You don't even know if it's true!" -- Lisa Simpson
"It's not going to end here. There's going to be more." -- Anonymous
"Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?" -- Bumper sticker
"You may attend a party where strange customs prevail." -- Chinese fortune cookie
"Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery. Today's the day!" -- Chi Chi Rodriguez