On the Abyss
From a Conversation
I was able to put most of my thoughts into words during our chat, but here are the important points:
- What you experienced is common in both psychedelic and meditative practices. I've experienced the same, many times in fact.
- Trip with the lights on. Trip with a loved one present. Trip with music.
And a new thought: if the Abyss slides into your PMs again
- Say "Hi Abyss".
- If you are uncomfortable, don't fight it. See what the Abyss has to say.
- If you still feel uncomfortable, gently focus on music, or anything else that can shift your mood.
The Abyss can be a powerful ally, but it isn't for everyone. Bending it to your will can be a difficult process, and you may find it isn't right for you. If so, find another ally. Music is usually a good choice, as is humor. Or discover your own ally.
I'm always available for you. DM me if you wish.
2024-01-17
On Ego Death
From a Conversation
I've never been one who seeks answers, so maybe I've always been an instinctive mystic. The psychedelic experience opened pathways to experiencing mysteries fully, without getting hung up on seeking answers. Realizing mysteries were the point was the main thing I took away from the psychedelic experience. Indulging in mysteries without seeking answers is a good definition of ego death.
Shortly after my first few LSD trips I read the Playboy interview John Lennon gave shortly before he died. He spoke of the inspiration for the song "She Said She Said", which happened at a party where he dropped acid, and which Peter Fonda also attended. Peter told John "I know what it's like to be dead." In my next few acid trips I thought about that a lot and understood what Fonda meant. There is something so otherworldly about LSD that one can believe one is dead and removed to another plane of existence. But I never wanted to die, ego or bodily, on LSD.
Castaneda spoke of something called "stopping the world." His central thesis was that the elements of our reality are pounded into us from birth, and when we perceive reality in that way we have gained "membership". However, there are other realities extant, but they aren't the realities we've been taught to perceive. By "stopping the world" we can turn off the perceptual flow of our reality, and perceive other realities. This is also a good definition of ego death.
The mystical experiences I experienced as a result of meditation were what Castaneda meant by "stopping the world." I didn't explain them to you in those terms because I assumed you wouldn't know Castaneda. But that is always how I thought of them, and my perception of reality has shifted significantly as a result of them. For instance, the cessation of my drug and alcohol cravings, and my experiencing the Eternal Now.
Castaneda also spoke of "seeing", which is a consequence of "stopping the world". I understand "seeing" as being akin to what is called the "third eye" (Ram Dass also spoke on the "third eye"). Everything I see, in fact everything I experience through any of my senses, has been affected by those mystical experiences. The filters through which I sense the world have moved my perceptions into another realm of reality. I still get along perfectly fine in the "old" world, but I'm living in a new one.
The point I'm trying to make is that "ego death" is part of the description of reality you hold "membership" in. You may find that description to be no longer valid inside the psychedelic experience, and it may hold no relevance for you. Or you may experience ego death and decide that you "stopped the world". Whatever the case ultimately is, it is going to be YOUR experience and YOUR perceptions. At the risk of telling you to follow my trip, I suggest you leave yourself open to all possibilities.
2024-01-13